Everyone has made it 90 days. That is reason to celebrate in and of itself.
Everyone uses whatever means they can to be and remain sober. The first 90 days we use our cunning, our guile and our will. Our will is the part of us that empowers us to create a bottom line and stand behind that bottom line. “I must keep my agreement and not….. (do whatever)….
Our will is strong for the short term and we feel like we can do anything as long as our will power is strong. But….. then life has a way of eroding that will power. Like a slow stream of water, life challenges us. We get buffeted around by life’s challenges, stresses and worries. We handle the challenges, initially, and then we begin to tire from the internal pressure that comes from reality not developing like we had hoped.
At this time of the year life’s challenges gather momentum. Families gather at holidays and old stresses within the family come back to the surface. These old stresses feed the Addictive Personality. Most of the time this is where the Addictive Personality got rooted in our being. It is not uncommon for the pretender voices that weaken our will, to start to re-activate their song. Our pretender voices start to gain more and more power. We pay attention to them and we empower that part of our self that wants to numb and find short term pleasure leading us to long term pain. We fight hard to stay positive and sober. And yes, this can be quite a challenge.
This is where we must use the community we have built and continues to strengthen us, that helps bolster us when stress is present. Calling and sharing with our brothers and sisters, asking for help and supporting each other reinforces us as a family, a family that shares the sober journey. This anchors our commitment to our agreements and our sobriety. We must reach out before the stresses have us reaching for the doorknob to our back door. We have closed those back doors and we must hold strong to keep them closed during these holiday times.