Today as I prepare to feast on our Thanksgiving holiday, I find myself feeling quietly reflective and a bit pensive.
I am still healing from the ‘disease of separation’. This disease of separation is my addiction to a multitude of substances and behaviors. These knee jerk patterns of behavior kept me separate from many things, I am now grateful to have in my life. Yet, when I was in pain these knee jerk patterns gave me separation from the pain and I misread this as pleasure. Now with the healing I have done, this version of pleasure startles me. I have a completely different definition of pleasure now. Healing can even be pleasurable.
I have been consciously engaging this healing for years and yet I continue to be surprised as the layers of this ‘dis-ease’ keep revealing themselves to me. I am grateful for all the ‘revealing’. Sometimes I feel like the onion, peeling down to the next layer, time after time, issue after issue. Many would settle for the state of being they find themselves inhabiting. I am grateful for all those that inspire me to keep peeling away and looking within. There are many of us that will not settle, will not stop, will not accept less than our potential. I know that the key to all my searching, reflecting and accepting is: self worth.
Self worth is the key to my gratitude. The more self worth I feel and know, the more gratitude for life I feel. I have so many things to be grateful for: a home, a love, friends, animals, health and work that I love. As I take stock of these fulfilling parts of my life, I feel that there is more I seek. I seek to fulfill my heart’s desires. I seek to continue to repair relationships that were compromised because of my fear of vulnerability. I seek to know depths of self love that allow me to be a sacred human ‘being’ creating beauty and light in my life.
On this day, season, of gratitude, I have a lot to have thanks for. I continue to move forward in my life. I hope to inspire you and others to find more gratitude. Gratitude is an energetic of expansion. As we heal we expand and become more of light energy, more of the force that will change our world.
Thank you for all the ways you inspire me. Happy Thanksgiving!
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